


Jager Bomb

by BarPurple



Series: Liquid Bombs. [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Dancing and Singing, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Hints of Hopper/Lestrade, Mary Watson's Camera Phone, Mild Language, hints of Donovan/Dimmock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1507481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what did Mary record on the night out? How embarrassed will everyone be? And where did the feather boa come from?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jager Bomb

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to every one who read and commented on Caffeine Bomb.  
> Here for your reading pleasure is what Mary recorded the night before.

**BEEP**

_There's a slight wobble to the picture._

"Come on guys everyone squish up."

_Mary's hand briefly come into frame as she encourages everyone into shot. Mary's voice can be heard._

"Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Scotland Yard's Finest who have this morning removed a vile killer from the streets of fair London town."

_There are cheers from everyone._

"DI Lestrade would you like to say a few words?"

_Dimmock, Donovan and John start banging the table chanting_ "Speech"

_Lestrade waves his hand dismissively, but starts to speak._

"My team were brilliant. Ably assisted by the world's only consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes."

_Sherlock smiles and nods in acknowledgment of the cheers._

"And the badass Watsons."

_Cheers from everyone as John blushes and Greg continues,_

"And the hardest working pathologist in London Dr. Molly Hooper."

 

"When's Molly getting here, Sherlock?"

"I said we'd meet her at The Plum Tree after her shift."

"Yeah, pub crawl!"

_The camera wobbles round as a barman with a tray of drinks appears at the table._

"Come and sit down love. Put the bloody camera down."

_The camera focuses in on the smiling face of John Watson_

"My loving husband."

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

_The camera focuses across the pub to the dart board. Mary speaks in a mock serious tone._

"Here we have DIs Lestrade and Dimmock playing darts with Dr. John Hamish Watson. I think the men of the Met have been taken in by the mild mannered Doctor, because we all know that John Watson is a dart playing fiend."

_There are groans from the DIs as John hits a 180. The camera wobbles around to focus on Sherlock and Sally. The angle is a little off as if Mary is trying to film them without attracting attention. Sherlock takes a mouthful of beer and carries on speaking to Sally._

"I was very impressed with the way you took down Farringdon. I had no idea you had Judo training."

"Wow, I must have done well. A compliment from the Freak."

_Sherlock stiffens slightly and Sally visibly winces._

"I'm sorry Holmes. I didn't mean to call you that."

_Sherlock nods at her before meeting her eye._

"You've not called me that since I came back."

_He waves his hand to forestall Sally apologies._

"That's the first time you've called me that without spitting it at me like a curse. I liked the way you said it just then. It sounded fond."

_Sally takes a swig of her drink and tilts her head at Sherlock._

"You're still strange Holmes, but after what you did for everyone, well, you don't deserve to be called names."

"I wouldn't mind you calling me Freak from now on, as long as it's not hostile. To be honest I've almost missed it."

_Sally laughs openly and looks at him in confusion._

"No, no I mean it. Some of the new officers aren't intimidated by me. I lost some of my mystic when you started calling me Holmes."

_Sherlock says this with a straight face, but breaks into a grin at the look of disbelief on Sally face. They both start laughing._

"Well we can't have that. I shall have to start calling you Freak again just to keep the young pups in line. You'll have to tell John that you're cool with it now though. I don't want to risk the ire of the good doctor."

"Yes, for a man who wears cable knitwear he can be a little on the scary side sometimes."

"Sometimes? Did you see the way he. . . "

_The camera wobbles as two waiters deliver their food to the table. Mary shouts across to the darts players,_

"Guys, foods here."

"Thank God I'm starved."

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

_The camera zooms in and out before focusing on Sally and Molly who are on the small pub stage clutching microphones and looking merry and giggly. The music starts and they start singing._

"You keep sayin' you've got something for me, somethin' you call love but confess. You've been messin' where you shouldn't have been a messin' and now someone else is gettin' all your best."

_From off camera the shouts and cheers of the Yarders can be heard. Mary pans round quickly showing a shaky shot of Greg, Dimmock and John before focusing on the stage again. Mary shouts to John_

"Where's Sherlock?"

"Went to the loo. There he is, Sherlock! You're missing it!"

_On stage Molly and Sally are strutting with the beat. Greg lets out a piercing wolf whistle. The camera wobbles dramatically as Mary jumps._

"Bloody hell Greg didn't know you could do that!"

_The song finishes to rousing applause. The camera tracks Molly and Sally as them weave their way back to the group. Dimmock slings an arm around Sally and gives her a quick hug. Noticing the camera on them he drops his arm._

"Oh that was so much fun Sally! Thanks for getting up with me."

"No worries. I didn't know you could sing that well."

_Molly blushes and the camera catches a soft smile on Greg's face._

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

_The camera focuses on the same stage, but this time it is Greg, Dimmock, Sherlock and John standing there in a line. Off camera Mary, Sally and Molly are talking excitedly._

"I can't believe we talked them into this!"

"John did the show at med school."

"Seriously? Wow that must have been a sight to see."

"I'll email you both the pictures!"

"Oh here we go!"

_The opening notes of The Time Warp play and the is a huge cheer from a group of women obviously on a hen night. John steps forward starts to sing,_

"It's astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll. . . "

_Mary cheers_

"My very own Riff Raff!"

_The audience sings the chorus as the men on stage dance. The hen party cat calls appreciatively at the pelvic thrusts. Dimmock moves forwards and belts out Magenta's verse_

"Can you believe the pipes on that man!"

"You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation Let's do the Time Warp again!"

_Two members of the hen party throw their pink and purple feather boas up to the stage. Dimmock and Greg snag them out of the air and wrap them around their necks. Greg hams it up with his boa as he sings Columbia's verse._

"Strut your stuff, Greg!"

"They're never gonna live this down at the Yard!"

_More of the audience join in the dance moves for the next chorus. The cheering reaches fever pitch as Sherlock breaks into Columbia's tap routine._

"The Dancing Detective!"

_On stage Dimmock's jaw drops and Greg mouths an expletive. John rolls his eyes and manages to catch Sherlock as he pantomimes Columbia's fall. The men perform the last chorus and take their bows to massive cheering. The DJ takes the microphones back and says,_

"Ladies and Gentlemen give it up for Dimmock, Greg, John and Sherlock!"

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

_A pedestrian street, about fifty yards from the camera three pairs of racers are lined up. Molly is on Greg's back and Sally is on Dimmock's. John is giving Sherlock a piggy back. Mary can be heard laughing._

"On your marks! Get set! GO!"

_Greg and Molly take the lead, the feather boa now being worn by Molly fluttering out behind her. John charges into second place, Sherlock's curls bouncing madly. Sally and Dimmock are a close third. Everyone is laughing and shouting. John closes the gap between him and Greg as Dimmock falls further behind. John races past Mary first and Sherlock leaps from his back. Greg is next and stands panting with Molly still on his back._

"Come on Dimmock! It's not like Sally weighs that much!"

"Oi! Watch it you!"

The last pair finally make it to Mary and Sally slides from Dimmock's back in time for him to bend double wheezing.

"You really need to work out more. I can believe John beat us carrying that lanky thing."

"Yeah, but I'm going to suffer for it in the morning. You are far to bony Sherlock."

"Mary I am sorry if I've bruised your delicate husband with my pointy bones, but I did offer to carry him."

"Not happening in a million years mate"

_Greg crouches down so Molly can get off his back. She slips her hands around his waist and stands resting her head on his back. Greg's smile is honest and huge._

"Where next then?"

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

_Everyone is stood at a high round table Greg puts a tray down and hands everyone a Jager Bomb._

"Why is there a tiny glass in my glass?"

"That's how they serve it, Sherlock. Just knock it back when Molly says go."

"Ready? Go!"

_Everyone throws back their drinks. There is a moment of gasping and table thumping. The camera focuses on Sherlock's disgusted face._

"What was in that?"

"Jager and Red Bull."

"Red Bull?"

"Energy drink made from bull testicles."

"That was not bull testicle. I know testicles and that wasn't it. Why are you all laughing?"

"I know testicles!"

"Oh, don't be putrid, no. Puree. No, hang on I can get it. Puerile! You all that word. Thingy."

_Sherlock looks at his empty glass thoughtfully. He's wobbling a lot._

"Disgusting. Can I have another?"

"No!"

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

_Greg and Molly are walking are few yards ahead of the camera. John says,_

"And here we observe the tentative mating dance of London's Finest. Famous for their socially awkward nature it could take this pair many more encounters to accept what the rest of their tribe has known for weeks."

_Sherlock appears in shot walking backwards._

"John, why are you talking like that?"

"It's my David Attenborough impression."

"It's terrible."

"You know who David Attenborough is?"

"No, but that's bound to be a terrible impression."

"He's right you know love."

"Oh cheers wife."

"Besides there's a more interesting example of human interaction going on behind us."

_The camera whips round and comes to rest on Dimmock and Sally. Their arms are wrapped around each other the feather boa obscures their faces but it is clear they are kissing._

"Come on you two we're going to order Thai. Sally get your lips off Dimmock! You can smooch at Baker Street!"

_Sally and Dimmock break apart and sheepishly walk towards the camera. The move past and catch up with Greg and Molly who have stopped. Greg gives them a shrug._

"You okay with them smooching in the flat?"

"As long as it's only smooching, who cares?"

**BEEP**

**Author's Note:**

> Molly and Sally sing "These boots are made for walkin'"  
> The boys sing "The Time Warp" If you've never seen Rock Horror I suggest you look up a video of the Time Warp so you can see the tap routine Sherlock does.  
> Once again please comment if you spot a mistake.  
> Kudos and Comments are as vital as a good cuppa.


End file.
